Bride-to-be and I are both big readers, and enjoy similar books - crime, romance, chick-lit - which is good news, because it means we can swap. Every night we go to bed and read before lights out, and I must confess, it's my favourite time of the day. Last year, I read a book and passed it on to her. I soon discovered it was a trilogy of books, so I bought the second, and read it, passing it on to her when I finished. The third book, however, wasn't available.
A couple of weeks ago, we got the delivery from Amazon - we had the third book! Now the issue was who got to read it first. We were both up to book three. Lying in bed one night, Bride-to-be turned to me and said "you could always read it to me."
I laughed and told her that was the dorkiest thing I'd ever heard of.
Because it is, isn't it?
But then I told her how my older sister and I used to do that. We used to read alternate chapters out loud and it was kind of cool. So I told her I'd read a chapter out loud... just one chapter... and then we'd decide who was most desperate to finish the book, and they could be the next to read it.
You know where this is going, right? Sure you do!
I've nearly finished reading the book out loud! We were both enjoying it that much.
In addition to our individual reading each night, I have been reading one chapter of our book out loud each night . A couple of chapters each day on the weekend - and we both love it. We're enjoying the book . I'm one of those people that looks at the finish line, where Bride-to-be's someone who enjoys the journey. So I keep saying things like "two more days and we're done!" while she's saying things like "what are we going to read next?"
The fact that I look toward the finish line doesn't mean I don't want to keep reading books together. I do - it's just that I am goal orientated. I have various tasks that I need to complete, and I make a plan for completing them. Bride-to-be on the other hand just relaxes and enjoys her tasks. It's why I'm such a fast eater (I have to finish eating so I can move on to the next task) and why B2B seldom gets bored. It's why I can get frustrated when something is taking me too long to complete, but she simply smiles and says "what's the worry?" We balance one another out in that respect.
We have a bookshelf of unread books, so I always look forward to finishing the book I'm reading so I can move on to the next. (I said this once to a friend about a theatre show we'd been watching... I enjoyed it, but couldn't wait for it to end... he thinks I'm odd).
Anyway, I digress. We're dorky and we know it... but we love it. It's our escape from the day, and it's something we're both enjoying - I suppose it's not that different from watching a DVD together. I confessed to a couple of friends on the weekend, thinking they'd say how pathetic we are, and they said "that's a sweet idea.... we should do that" and looked lovingly into one another's eyes. Maybe we're not so dorky after all (or maybe we just have dorky friends!).
'Fess up - what do you and your partner do that's dorky?
****
LAST CHANCE TO VOTE! I tried my hand at writing some erotica - not the first time, mind you, but the first time I'm in a competition.
http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/03/20/pure-romance-contest-who-will-win/
I'm Aussie Femme - have a look and vote for your fave. If it's me, that's even better!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
What does a bride do with her hands?!
Recently I've been in a bit of a wedding planning mode. Because sister-in-law-to-be-but-not-legally came over the other night to talk about some of her wedding plans, and that got me thinking.
And I never really understood the whole bridal bouquet thing, and I really didn't want to carry one the first time I got married, but was convinced that you need to do something with your hands... so I did it, and most of my photos have me doing crazy stuff with the bouquet like holding it upside down (deliberately) and being all serious and bridal with it (deliberately).
And so I went googling about what a bride could do with her hands (don't google image THAT!) and discovered there are LOADS of alternatives. Feathers. Lanterns (how lovely!). Lots of options - my favourite is the idea of an Asian fan. But my mother-in-law-to-be-but-not-legally is a florist, so it seems silly (and perhaps an insult) to not have flowers. I think I might get a fan in China anyway as an option for some photos.
And Bride-to-be isn't holding a bouquet. No one seems concerned about what SHE'S going to do with HER hands (Shut up!)
In fact, no one seems concerned about a Groom's hands in a traditional wedding, either. Why is the bouquet so important, then? And I also think that bridesmaid bouquets are unnecessary, but people say "oh, no, what will they do with their hands?" but again - Groomsmen! What are they doing? Are men so controlled with their hands, compared to women, that it's only important that we put something in the hands of the females?
****
I tried my hand at writing some erotica - not the first time, mind you, but the first time I'm in a competition.
http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/03/20/pure-romance-contest-who-will-win/
I'm Aussie Femme - have a look and vote for your fave. If it's me, that's even better!
And I never really understood the whole bridal bouquet thing, and I really didn't want to carry one the first time I got married, but was convinced that you need to do something with your hands... so I did it, and most of my photos have me doing crazy stuff with the bouquet like holding it upside down (deliberately) and being all serious and bridal with it (deliberately).
And so I went googling about what a bride could do with her hands (don't google image THAT!) and discovered there are LOADS of alternatives. Feathers. Lanterns (how lovely!). Lots of options - my favourite is the idea of an Asian fan. But my mother-in-law-to-be-but-not-legally is a florist, so it seems silly (and perhaps an insult) to not have flowers. I think I might get a fan in China anyway as an option for some photos.
And Bride-to-be isn't holding a bouquet. No one seems concerned about what SHE'S going to do with HER hands (Shut up!)
In fact, no one seems concerned about a Groom's hands in a traditional wedding, either. Why is the bouquet so important, then? And I also think that bridesmaid bouquets are unnecessary, but people say "oh, no, what will they do with their hands?" but again - Groomsmen! What are they doing? Are men so controlled with their hands, compared to women, that it's only important that we put something in the hands of the females?
****
I tried my hand at writing some erotica - not the first time, mind you, but the first time I'm in a competition.
http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/03/20/pure-romance-contest-who-will-win/
I'm Aussie Femme - have a look and vote for your fave. If it's me, that's even better!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Vote for me?
I tried my hand at writing some erotica - not the first time, mind you, but the first time I'm in a competition.
http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/03/20/pure-romance-contest-who-will-win/
I'm Aussie Femme - have a look and vote for your fave. If it's me, that's even better!
http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/03/20/pure-romance-contest-who-will-win/
I'm Aussie Femme - have a look and vote for your fave. If it's me, that's even better!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I have ordered the dress
I only wish I had a photo of it... in a couple of weeks, I will.
This is a medium-budget wedding. I've been married before (to the wrong gender) and went all out. My parents paid, it was a fabulous day, and when I forget about who I married, it was a special day which meant a lot to me in terms of being with friends and family. However, I never felt so completely excited about my wedding, like I have this time. I'm just thrilled to be marrying the woman of my dreams. The woman I've lived with for the past few months, and feel very excited to go home to each night. I am so much in love - so much so that I think about our vows on a regular basis, and what I hope to say to her on the big day.
Anyway..... despite all of this, I wanted the perfect dress at a low budget price. How do I do that?
I considered buying a bridesmaid dress in white. I plan to post about that another day, as I still think that's a viable option for a lot of gals. But in the end, I went along to a bridal shop with my sister-in-law-to-be-but-not-legally (who is getting married), bride to be, and a couple of friends. I tried on a dress, and it was perfect. And... $400. That's Australian money, so what... about $300 US? SO good, so within the budget, and I'm SO happy.
I love the dress. It's flattering, stylish, elegant.
What's the issue? You knew there was an issue, right? There's only one - it's a discontinued style... AND it's too small. Now, I'm bigger than I've ever been right now (well, minus the 3 kg I've lost this year... about 6lb) but want to lose about 15kg (30lb) over the next 9 months. That's do-able, and I'm getting healthy. Expect posts about it.
I just emailed the bridal shop to order the gown. More motivation than ever now to lose the weight!
This is a medium-budget wedding. I've been married before (to the wrong gender) and went all out. My parents paid, it was a fabulous day, and when I forget about who I married, it was a special day which meant a lot to me in terms of being with friends and family. However, I never felt so completely excited about my wedding, like I have this time. I'm just thrilled to be marrying the woman of my dreams. The woman I've lived with for the past few months, and feel very excited to go home to each night. I am so much in love - so much so that I think about our vows on a regular basis, and what I hope to say to her on the big day.
Anyway..... despite all of this, I wanted the perfect dress at a low budget price. How do I do that?
I considered buying a bridesmaid dress in white. I plan to post about that another day, as I still think that's a viable option for a lot of gals. But in the end, I went along to a bridal shop with my sister-in-law-to-be-but-not-legally (who is getting married), bride to be, and a couple of friends. I tried on a dress, and it was perfect. And... $400. That's Australian money, so what... about $300 US? SO good, so within the budget, and I'm SO happy.
I love the dress. It's flattering, stylish, elegant.
What's the issue? You knew there was an issue, right? There's only one - it's a discontinued style... AND it's too small. Now, I'm bigger than I've ever been right now (well, minus the 3 kg I've lost this year... about 6lb) but want to lose about 15kg (30lb) over the next 9 months. That's do-able, and I'm getting healthy. Expect posts about it.
I just emailed the bridal shop to order the gown. More motivation than ever now to lose the weight!
Shoes, glorious shoes.
The bridesmaid dresses were so easy to buy - I have posted about that, haven't I? If I haven't, I will have to make that my next post... will go check that out later.
Then it became an issue of shoes. My favourite strappy shoes are still available, so I took a photo of them on my camera phone, and sent it to my three bridesmaids. They loved them, so they're buying shoes which I own, which I think is kinda cool! Plus there's a buy one, get one free offer at the moment, so my sister managed to get a great bargain on two of the pairs.
Bride-to-be's three bridesmaids are wearing the same dress as my girls. We're not sure whether they're wearing the same shoes as my girls... they're not fans of heels, so may end up in flat sandals of some kind. We don't care.
We ordered Bride-to-be's ring the other day. It's stunning. A gent's ring, with five small diamonds in it, in white and yellow gold. I just love it. Mine is a stunning diamond setting in white gold, very girly, which is typical of the two of us!
Everything is happening easily and effortlessly at the moment.... and soon, there might even be a post about my dress!
Then it became an issue of shoes. My favourite strappy shoes are still available, so I took a photo of them on my camera phone, and sent it to my three bridesmaids. They loved them, so they're buying shoes which I own, which I think is kinda cool! Plus there's a buy one, get one free offer at the moment, so my sister managed to get a great bargain on two of the pairs.
Bride-to-be's three bridesmaids are wearing the same dress as my girls. We're not sure whether they're wearing the same shoes as my girls... they're not fans of heels, so may end up in flat sandals of some kind. We don't care.
We ordered Bride-to-be's ring the other day. It's stunning. A gent's ring, with five small diamonds in it, in white and yellow gold. I just love it. Mine is a stunning diamond setting in white gold, very girly, which is typical of the two of us!
Everything is happening easily and effortlessly at the moment.... and soon, there might even be a post about my dress!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I just came out... again.
Funny thing about coming out is that it's never ending. And being gay is something that I'm proud of. I didn't come out until the last couple of years, and so I'm still letting people know what's changed in my life. There are a few old friends that mean a lot to me, in the impact they had on my life, but I'm not in regular touch with. One of my friends was a guy I used to hang out with all the time. He was close friends with my first serious boyfriend (and actually, still is). I replied to his email and added my news, and as I wrote it, I really realised how much my life has changed since we used to hang out eating Thai food every Sunday night. Times were fun and carefree back then, but I'm much happier now I'm a Lesbian Bride!
This is what I wrote to him:
"In other news, since I saw you last, I've come out :-) Over the years I've been torn about this, and stopped dating for a while to do a lot of self discovery and realised I'm actually gay.
It makes my life make so much more sense, and I needed to tell you my news, as it's such big news. It explains why I could never be the person both Boyfriend1 and Boyfriend2 wanted in their partner. On top of all that, I never found men attractive (other than "he's a nice looking guy") which should have been a clue, but I figured if I was gay I would just *know*. I didn't. I'm now in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful woman, and we're planning a wedding... and I've realised what romantic love feels like (vs. love for someone who feels more like a brother). I'm so overwhelmed with happiness and love that my life has completely changed for the better. I can't believe it took me 32 years to get here! Sorry if that sounds wanky :-)"
My new relationship hasn't caused any rifts in my family, but it has in some of my friendship circles. I'm wary of that, because I don't think one should lose friends due to a relationship... but then I think about how happy I am. I've had a history of not trusting my instincts, and not being completely honest with myself, but for the first time, I am honest with myself and I am happy. I'm in love with a woman who is patient, kind, treats me well and is lots of fun to be around. My favourite part of the day is now going home to her.
I guess I'll spend the rest of my life coming out, but at least I'm happy.
This is what I wrote to him:
"In other news, since I saw you last, I've come out :-) Over the years I've been torn about this, and stopped dating for a while to do a lot of self discovery and realised I'm actually gay.
It makes my life make so much more sense, and I needed to tell you my news, as it's such big news. It explains why I could never be the person both Boyfriend1 and Boyfriend2 wanted in their partner. On top of all that, I never found men attractive (other than "he's a nice looking guy") which should have been a clue, but I figured if I was gay I would just *know*. I didn't. I'm now in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful woman, and we're planning a wedding... and I've realised what romantic love feels like (vs. love for someone who feels more like a brother). I'm so overwhelmed with happiness and love that my life has completely changed for the better. I can't believe it took me 32 years to get here! Sorry if that sounds wanky :-)"
My new relationship hasn't caused any rifts in my family, but it has in some of my friendship circles. I'm wary of that, because I don't think one should lose friends due to a relationship... but then I think about how happy I am. I've had a history of not trusting my instincts, and not being completely honest with myself, but for the first time, I am honest with myself and I am happy. I'm in love with a woman who is patient, kind, treats me well and is lots of fun to be around. My favourite part of the day is now going home to her.
I guess I'll spend the rest of my life coming out, but at least I'm happy.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
What's in a name?
I haven't blogged in a while... and that's to do with the title of this blog. Whilst I have plenty of lesbian issues to blog about, and plenty of bridal issues to blog about, I haven't had many lesbian bride issues to blog about. But now I've decided that doesn't matter at all, and I plan to blog more frequently.
Yesterday I decided I would research getting legally married. In my country, we can't get legally wed, but given I'm marrying an English lass, we can use her citizenship to marry legally under the English jurisdiction. Does it matter? That's a question I've been asked a few times. The short answer is: well no. In my country the legal side of things will mean nothing.
But it's people asking those sorts of questions that get me wanting the legal recognition (not mentioning any of the legal rights a marriage gives you). No one asks a man and a woman why they want a legal ceremony and not just a civil partnership.
I looked up definitions of the words wedding and marriage to see if we could classify our commitment ceremony as a wedding, or our union as a marriage. My mother keeps warning me not to use those terms, and instead focus on the word commitment. It's not that she's not supportive... she's just worried about what people will think.
Well, I didn't have a Dictionary handy, so I looked it up online, and yeah, you've basically gotta be a man and a woman for it to be a "wedding", but I don't care. I was legally wed to a man I should never have been married to, and now I'm completely in love with a woman I believe will be my life partner. The term wedding is much more applicable now days, and my marriage will be more real than my "legal" marriage was.
Yesterday I decided I would research getting legally married. In my country, we can't get legally wed, but given I'm marrying an English lass, we can use her citizenship to marry legally under the English jurisdiction. Does it matter? That's a question I've been asked a few times. The short answer is: well no. In my country the legal side of things will mean nothing.
But it's people asking those sorts of questions that get me wanting the legal recognition (not mentioning any of the legal rights a marriage gives you). No one asks a man and a woman why they want a legal ceremony and not just a civil partnership.
I looked up definitions of the words wedding and marriage to see if we could classify our commitment ceremony as a wedding, or our union as a marriage. My mother keeps warning me not to use those terms, and instead focus on the word commitment. It's not that she's not supportive... she's just worried about what people will think.
Well, I didn't have a Dictionary handy, so I looked it up online, and yeah, you've basically gotta be a man and a woman for it to be a "wedding", but I don't care. I was legally wed to a man I should never have been married to, and now I'm completely in love with a woman I believe will be my life partner. The term wedding is much more applicable now days, and my marriage will be more real than my "legal" marriage was.
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