Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Friendship is a wonderful thing

In our endeavour to get fit and healthy, C and I purchased a weights set. I'm talking a pretty huge home gym with four stations. We bought it second-hand, just as we did our exercise bike. Both times we got pretty solid equipment for the price you'd buy shaky equipment brand new. A lot of people invest in solid gym equipment and then realise they're just not using it.

When we first got together, my partner C and I would do loads of things with her best mate (The Guy). At first I thought The Guy was kind of daggy, and sometimes a bit of a drama queen, but I quickly learnt what C sees in The Guy. He's so kind and considerate - would do anything for either of us, and really respected our relationship, giving us ample time alone.

After The Guy started a new long distance relationship, we saw less of him. We made new friends, so tended to catch up at big group events more than just the three or four of us hanging out. C and The Guy are similar and I was the different one in our little group. But as soon as I met The Guy's boyfriend, A, I knew I suddenly had someone in our group that was similar to me. A moved down here a few months ago to live with The Guy.

A and I get on like a house on fire. C and The Guy get on like a house on fire. The four of us laugh lots, tease each other, and help each other out of tough situations...

So we squeezed the home gym into the trailer and got it home. We had asked the boys to come over and help us put it together. By the time they'd arrived, I'd managed to move half of it out of the trailer and into position (C's bad back meant she could guide and direct me but not lift much of it... very frustrating for a strong chick).

A asked who we hired the trailer off. The Guy said "It's C's".
A looked confused. "C has a trailer? That's a little... odd... for a girl?"
The Guy laughed and said "you don't know C very well!"

When A saw all of C's tools, he was even more amazed.

They unloaded the other half for us, and put it all together, except for the weight stacks. C and I put the weight stacks together yesterday, but soon realised we had to pull the WHOLE thing apart to put it back together. I was amazed at how logical I was with the whole thing and how I could see what needed to get done. C is amazing with a toolset, of course, but I shocked myself at how good I'm getting, simply by hanging around her and watching her do all the work she's done around the house. I might get my own toolbelt some day! (Actually, I much prefer sitting back and watching a woman in a toolbelt!)

Anyway, the boys invited us to a gay lounge bar on Sunday afternoon for a drink, and to listen to some live music. Just the four of us... So after putting the gym together and scoffing down some lunch, we got ready to meet the boys. Relaxing and entertaining. A went outside, and I followed having a D&M with him, while The Guy and C stayed inside, having a D&M. Loads of lesbians, not so many gay guys out, but it was a great afternoon just listening to a fantastic band (headed up by a hot lesbian signer).

It occured to me at the bar.... It's just so easy with A. We have no interest in one another (of course!), no need to impress each other, our friendship is real. He challenges me, too, which is important in friendship... but he doesn't judge. I've always liked a friend I can debate issues with, but not feel like everything I do is under scrutiny... and he seems to have a good balance of that. It's exactly what C and The Guy have.

It suddenly clicked that this is what friendship is all about. I have a couple of friends like this - real, genuine friendships where the trust is evident and we can talk about things that really matter without fear of being judged. It's funny though because for so long I'd never had these kinds of connections, instead having that with just my partner (before now my partners were all male and were more best friends than partners).... I guess this is something for another post, but now I see friendship differently now that I've come out. Somehow it's easier now than it was before to put people into the appropriate categories of friend vs. partner.

A and I are meeting for lunch soon, just the two of us. We've done it a few times before, but then work got crazy and A started his new job, so we just haven't done it in a while. I'm really looking forward to catching up one on one.

Perhaps the funniest part of the catch up was when my chair fell from under me. I fell onto my bum, knocking the glass coffee table over, along with 10 glasses and a glass bottle of water.

Amazingly I only broke one glass, but the band stopped singing and mentioned it over the microphone and every single person turned to look at me. C asked if I'd hurt anything.

"Just my pride" I said as everyone laughed.

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