Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I just came out... again.

Funny thing about coming out is that it's never ending. And being gay is something that I'm proud of. I didn't come out until the last couple of years, and so I'm still letting people know what's changed in my life. There are a few old friends that mean a lot to me, in the impact they had on my life, but I'm not in regular touch with. One of my friends was a guy I used to hang out with all the time. He was close friends with my first serious boyfriend (and actually, still is). I replied to his email and added my news, and as I wrote it, I really realised how much my life has changed since we used to hang out eating Thai food every Sunday night. Times were fun and carefree back then, but I'm much happier now I'm a Lesbian Bride!

This is what I wrote to him:

"In other news, since I saw you last, I've come out :-) Over the years I've been torn about this, and stopped dating for a while to do a lot of self discovery and realised I'm actually gay.

It makes my life make so much more sense, and I needed to tell you my news, as it's such big news. It explains why I could never be the person both Boyfriend1 and Boyfriend2 wanted in their partner. On top of all that, I never found men attractive (other than "he's a nice looking guy") which should have been a clue, but I figured if I was gay I would just *know*. I didn't. I'm now in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful woman, and we're planning a wedding... and I've realised what romantic love feels like (vs. love for someone who feels more like a brother). I'm so overwhelmed with happiness and love that my life has completely changed for the better. I can't believe it took me 32 years to get here! Sorry if that sounds wanky :-)"

My new relationship hasn't caused any rifts in my family, but it has in some of my friendship circles. I'm wary of that, because I don't think one should lose friends due to a relationship... but then I think about how happy I am. I've had a history of not trusting my instincts, and not being completely honest with myself, but for the first time, I am honest with myself and I am happy. I'm in love with a woman who is patient, kind, treats me well and is lots of fun to be around. My favourite part of the day is now going home to her.

I guess I'll spend the rest of my life coming out, but at least I'm happy.

1 comment:

  1. Hi! You won my copy of the DVD that I reviewed!

    Send me an email at tinacious.com@gmail.com with your address and I'll mail it to you! :)