Tuesday, March 3, 2009

What's in a name?

I haven't blogged in a while... and that's to do with the title of this blog. Whilst I have plenty of lesbian issues to blog about, and plenty of bridal issues to blog about, I haven't had many lesbian bride issues to blog about. But now I've decided that doesn't matter at all, and I plan to blog more frequently.

Yesterday I decided I would research getting legally married. In my country, we can't get legally wed, but given I'm marrying an English lass, we can use her citizenship to marry legally under the English jurisdiction. Does it matter? That's a question I've been asked a few times. The short answer is: well no. In my country the legal side of things will mean nothing.

But it's people asking those sorts of questions that get me wanting the legal recognition (not mentioning any of the legal rights a marriage gives you). No one asks a man and a woman why they want a legal ceremony and not just a civil partnership.

I looked up definitions of the words wedding and marriage to see if we could classify our commitment ceremony as a wedding, or our union as a marriage. My mother keeps warning me not to use those terms, and instead focus on the word commitment. It's not that she's not supportive... she's just worried about what people will think.

Well, I didn't have a Dictionary handy, so I looked it up online, and yeah, you've basically gotta be a man and a woman for it to be a "wedding", but I don't care. I was legally wed to a man I should never have been married to, and now I'm completely in love with a woman I believe will be my life partner. The term wedding is much more applicable now days, and my marriage will be more real than my "legal" marriage was.

1 comment:

  1. I have been thinking alot about the legal issues too lately. The states in the U.S. we are from and currently live in will not recognize our marriage. We could go to another state, but all we would be doing is collecting a piece of paper. It would be a symbolic act, but not a practical one in terms of gaining any rights or benefits. For me, the ceremony is a wedding, and what we will have afterwards is a marriage, despite legality. I might add something to the ceremony to let everyone know that we plan to get any and all recognition for our relationship we can in the states we reside in the future.